From memory.

I think baked ziti is the first recipe I’ve been able to commit to memory.

Every time I make it, I think it’s a tiny bit different. This time:

1 pound dry ziti pasta
1 onion, chopped
1 can white beans
2 (26 ounce) jars spaghetti sauce
6-8 slices provolone cheese
1 1/2 cups sour cream
6 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese
small package of frozen (chopped) spinach, thawed

I saute the onion until it’s soft. (I crack some pepper over it. Also, tonight I added some white cooking wine and a sprinkle of garlic powder.) While this is happening, I  bring a pot of water to a boil for the pasta. Then I add the thawed spinach and white beans to the onions and heat for a bit. Once it’s all warm, I add the spaghetti sauce and let it simmer for however long it takes my noodles to cook. Once the pasta is done and drained, I take everything off the heat and assemble my ziti dish.

1/2 pasta in the bottom of the pan, then the provolone slices and the sour cream. On top of that, spread half the sauce. Then repeat with the other half of the noodles, sprinkle the mozzarella and cover with the rest of the sauce.

Bake at 350*F for 30-40 minutes. Serve.

I never serve it with a veggie because I’m lazy… but it really should have a salad. I don’t have a salad spinner and I never feel like being that healthy. Besides, there’s spinach in the sauce! :)

I love baked ziti. I had been craving it for about a week and a half. So glad I finally got to eat some!

I just need to add that I’m super bummed that it’s getting harder to find my 2% cheeses.
It’s really sad because it’s so much better than regular cheese calorie-wise and tastes just as delicious.

I’m having a hard time finding the bright side today.

It’s probably because it’s super cloudy.
And drizzly.

Oh, and it’s Monday, which is never a fun time (unless you have an odd work schedule — in that case, YAY, IT’S MONDAY!).

My belly hurt this morning, too. It was compounded by weird looking yogurt (which I don’t think was actually bad, but it weirded me out enough that me eating it sorta grossed me out). I don’t think I’ll eat the weird yogurt tomorrow. I don’t know why it was so… lumpy-like. The use-by date was February 28th and it seemed to have been sealed just fine. *shrugs*

Anyway, tomorrow is suppose to be fun! Macbeth — drama and murder and insanity! I should probably give ol’ Sparknotes a quick read to refresh my memory. I just hope I manage to stay awake for the whole thing. I’ve been tired for a week. I don’t know if it’s a funk or if I’m just not sleeping well or if it’s the weather, but I am tired all the time.

I guess I should start taking the vitamin B tablets I bought ages ago to see if they boost my mood and my energy. I get at least 6 hours of sleep a night, lately… which is much better than I had been getting before the Xanax, but I don’t feel like it’s enough. And I just feel so unmotivated! (Even to knit, which I thought was because I knitted and crocheted SO MUCH right before Christmas, but maybe I’m just unmotivated in general.)

I need to do these things:

• Fill out and drop off a volunteer app for the local library. (I could see, this way, if I’d ever want to be a librarian given my love of books.)
• Start in on my yoga socks again. (They keep your feet all nice and cozy, but your toes aren’t all confined!)
• BUY THE DESK FOR MY LIVING ROOM!
• Hang more art/motivational sayings. (I feel like my nesting instinct, not pregnancy induced — just "make this feel like home" induced, has taken a nose dive in just the past few days.)
• Get a good night’s sleep. (I know I don’t have a LOT of control over this, but I really need to do everything I can to sleep a full 8 hours one of these nights.)
• Start/finish at least one more scarf for the Special Olympics.

Today’s probably a good day for me to search for motivational words to hang in my hallway. I need to read things that inspire… though everything sounds hollow to me. (I suppose that means if something really strikes me as awesome, it’s definitely awesome and it’s cutting through my gloom.)

Hurry up, spring. I need some warm weather and sunshine!

Technically, I’m still broke…

… but I’m pretty sure baked ziti will be happening this week. I probably should have bought the supplies yesterday, when I was at the store, but I was too concerned with getting my basics that I hadn’t thought ahead to Tuesday. Ah, well. I drive past the grocery store every day.

Oh, wait! I won’t be making dinner on Tuesday! I’m going to see Macbeth with my momma! I guess I’ll have to make it for Thursday. Or tomorrow. Hmmmm.

I have a ginormous headache again this morning. Right under my right eyebrow again. It feels better when I press on it.

I’m not sure why I opened up this post. I don’t really have much to say, really.

Noisy things.

Lately I’ve been really sensitive to “noise.” I can’t listen to loud, disharmonious music.* I feel like an old woman when I listen to new “rock” bands. If they’re screaming into a microphone, I feel my anxiety levels shoot up instantly. It’s really weird because I am such a fan of Conor Oberst and, well, he isn’t exactly harmonious and he also makes it a point to scream in some of his work.

And that doesn’t bother me, I guess because I’m familiar with the noise.

I mean, I’ve never been into screamo stuff, but using a bit of screaming in an emotional, lyrical way? That never bothered me. I’ve also noticed lately that any sign or display of confrontation (even when it doesn’t involve me), I get really stressed to the point of feeling that angry tightness in my chest.

It’s totally bizarre. I just wish I could unbreak my fight-or-flight reflex because I’m learning more and more that my worst anxiety has a loooot to do with feeling attacked. You can’t really go through life without confrontations. It’s something that has to happen from time to time. It’s like my body interprets noise as confrontation and my brain doesn’t want to deal with it. Of course, when it’s music, the answer is simply “turn it off.” But you obviously can’t do that to a person.

Anyway, these are my thoughts for tonight. I’ve finally made a list of some (probably not all) of the negative things I have a tendency of telling myself. Tonight I’m at home relaxing because I’ve already told myself that this week is going to be a long week. (Late nights equal a full weekend, though!) Work tomorrow and Wednesday, work and yarnies on Thursday (yay yarn, though) and a late night on Friday. I’m undecided on whether I’ll make the long drive to Ikea on Saturday or if I’ll find a desk more locally/have the Ikea one delivered. I really like the desk. $21 for shipping might be about what I’d spend on gas anyway.

BUUUUT, I might see other things I’d like for my apartment too. (You see, I think I’m finally nesting. It’s starting to feel like my place. This might be a good thing. My therapist seemed to think it was interesting, anyway. I finally feel like creating a functional space for myself. I also really want to create my “big girl tent” in the corner of my living room. I haven’t figured out the logistics of that yet, though.)

*I’m also not good at multitasking. I use to be able to blog while watching TV, but gone are those days.

Lazy Sundays.

I’m watching part of “Breaking the Mayan Code” this morning. It’s a documentary about deciphering the Mayan glyphs. It reminds me why I don’t appreciate religious missionaries and crusaders. They tried to wipe out an entire culture to convert people to “the way” and so their glyphs were banned and their writings destroyed.

Oh, people are so frustrating. We should learn about each other, not change each other!

(Edited to add: Human sacrifice is bad… but let’s face it, it’s historically part of many major religions.)

Anyway, it’s been a long time since I’ve watched a documentary. I forgot how fascinating this stuff can be!

“A Workplace Prayer”

My therapist shared the idea of "a workplace prayer" with me during my last session. I like the idea of bring a bit of peace to a job that might be stressful, or maybe just not your particular cup of tea, at the moment. I found this one through Google. (I’ve altered it slightly because I never really address my prayers to anyone in particular. Just the JesusHippyBuddhaDude that occupies the religious section of my brain).

Basically, you can address this to whatever/whoever it is you pray/talk to on a regular basis. Whatever feels right.

As I enter this workplace, let me bring your presence with me. I speak your peace, your grace and your perfect order into the atmosphere of my workplace.

I ask for your presence over all that will be spoken, thought, decided and accomplished this day.

I thank you for the gifts and skill you have deposited in me. I commit to using them responsibly and well.

Give me a fresh supply of truth and beauty on which to draw as I do my job today.

Bless my creativity, my ideas, my energy so that even my smallest task may bring you honor.

When I’m confused, guide me. When I’m weary, energize me.

When I’m burned out, infuse me with the light of your spirit.

May the work I do and the way I do it bring hope, life and courage to all that I come into contact with today.

And even in this day’s most stressful moments, may I rest in your peace.

Unslumping yourself is not easily done…

I’ve been trying to look at and listen to a lot of inspiring or hopeful things lately. I’m trying to change myself with a little positivity.

I was so stoked when Postsecret tweeted a link to a reading of “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” done by people at Burning Man.

I’m pretty sure Dr. Seuss is the reason I love my books just so so much. It’s all his fault. So thank you, Theodor Seuss Geisel.

I also thought this story about a sibling standing up for his little brother was inspiring and amazing in so many different ways. Supportive and a little bit world changing. This is what love looks like, I tell you.

Judge me all you want…

… I’m going to make brownies from a box tomorrow morning. I love effin’ brownies and, well, I can’t make the delicious, moist brownies I love from scratch. I am not the only person who finds it difficult.

Don’t get me wrong, my from-scratch brownies taste just fine… they’re just not deliciously moist and fabulous.

So, I’m giving into convenience. Delicious, chocolatey convenience. Maybe I’ll add some chocolate chips to it to make it special.

I got some fabulous perfume oils from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab yesterday, but I want to dedicate a post to that, so hopefully I’ll have time to do that tomorrow.

I made potato soup!

Of course I didn’t take a photo before I ate because, well, I was quite hungry.

It’s from the Budget Bytes blog & it’s a slow cooker recipe. I just had to chop things up, throw it in the slow cooker in the morning and let it do it’s thing. Here’s the link.

The only thing I did differently is… I thickened the milk with flour (until it was thick enough to coat the side of the pot when I stirred it) on the stove top and pureed the soup right after adding it (the milk) to the slowcooker. I also cooked it on high for 3 hours and then turned it back for the rest of the time (5 more hours) while I ran errands and whatnot.

I’m sure it would have been fine on high the whole time, but it just seemed like an awful lot for potatoes.

Oh, and I don’t know if it was just a coincidence, but I can NEVER get milk to thicken up like this… but this time I used organic (fat free) milk and it worked perfectly! Heat the milk and flour and stir stir stir for a few minutes! I’ll have to try it again with normal milk and see if I can get the same results.

It was just soooo creamy and smooth! I was so impressed with myself!

Anyway, it was a good, solid soup. Adding bacon or cheese would turn it into a loaded baked potato soup. It seems pretty versatile. I’ll probably make it again. It’s a pretty cheap soup. (Very nice on these cold winter days. So so cold.)

Next week I’m making Pasta e Fagioli though. I still have a bunch of celery and carrots left over.

And my pantry is FULL OF PASTA!

Culinary resolutions.

I realized there were some resolutions I didn’t include on my list yesterday. Incidentally, most had to do with food. To make things simpler and better, I made a separate list of resolutions for culinary pursuits.