Okay, so the end of 2011 isn’t going so awesome either.
I’ve been getting panic attacks. At least that’s what everyone else thinks they are. I always feel like there’s something terribly wrong with me.The scariest things are the heart palpitations, the feeling like I can’t get a satisfying breath and the weird moments where I feel like I can’t swallow (but I can because when I sip water, I have no problem swallowing).
Tom had diagnosed me via Twitter DMs with G(eneralized)A(nxiety)D(isorder) months ago. Turns out, a real-life, in-person doctor seemed to agree with him. I’ve got some Xanax now. I’ve been stubbornly taking only half a pill for the time being, but it seems to work relatively well. I suppose I could try a whole pill one of these days… but the biggest anxiety I have tonight is sleeping in my own apartment again. (I had been staying with the parents until my doctor appointment happened on Friday. And then an extra night to make sure the Xanax didn’t make me too much crazier than I already am.)
The next nervey thing is the mid-nite tablets for sleep. If I keep getting really bad sleep, I was told I could take melatonin and, again, Tom suggested mid-nite. Good ol’ (not-really-a-)Pharmacist Tom. ;) My doctor seemed to think I could take the melatonin and Xanax together, but too sedative-type things kind of freak me out a little.
I don’t have to work tomorrow. I don’t have to work Tuesday. I need to use these days to call the therapist in town and see how difficult it is to set up an appointment. I should also make an appointment to get a pedicure soon. My feet need some pampering.
I only work Wednesday and Friday this week! November was relatively work-free. It was nice, but it can’t last forever. Haha.
Ah, I think I’m starting to get sleepy. Time to move this to the bedroom.