The Questionnaire.

Awesome Mr. Tom posted this on his blog (aka: blob) and then told me via Twitter I should do it too. Since I fall victim to peer pressure so easily, I decided to do it.

Questionnaire #1:

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Self-induced. When you get into a funk/dark place and you keep talking yourself further and further into the depths of despair. This can happen for a number of reasons (ranging from anything from an ignored text to very serious things like a death)… but it’s the horrible things you tell yourself as a result that takes a toll and prevents real healing. I think that’s the lowest depth of misery. The dark cycle of unhelpful thoughts.

Where would you like to live?
I actually like where I live… so if I move, it would have to be someplace similar. I always kind of liked the idea of living in the Pacific Northwest… despite all the rain. I like the idea of cities, but I could never live in on. Living near one would be the closest I’d ever get.

What is your idea of earthly happiness?
Laughter. Deep, from the belly, laughter.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
Self-doubt. Not exercising. Eating potato chips.

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
Stephanie Plum! Haha, I’m just kidding.
It’s Ranger. Hot, a little bad ass and of questionable character.
Oh, and basically any one of the characters Colin Firth played/plays.

Who are your favorite characters in history?
Charles Darwin and Galileo (Yay, science!)
Gandhi (I mean, come on!)
The Buddha (So peaceful and wise.)
Jesus (I believe him to be the first male feminist.)
Shiva (God of Destruction — he has a THIRD EYE that shoots fire.)

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?
Mother Teresa.

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
Oh, I guess this is where Stephanie Plum would fall.
Or maybe Soulless Alexia Tarabotti/Maccon (from The Parasol Protectorate series). Yes, she’s much more capable despite wearing Victorian dresses and underthings.

Your favorite painter?
(Or, since I can think of two right off the top of my head… painters!)

Robert Rauschenberg — He’s probably more mixed media, but whatever. YAY modern art! I analyzed “Canyon” for my mythology class. Zeus swooped down and stole the most beautiful man in the world to be the winebearer for the gods. I can’t remember that the beautiful man’s name was. My bad. Anyway, I the story to his struggle with his homosexuality.

And, hold on, I have to google the correct spelling for this next guy…
Hieronymus Bosch — Dutch painter during the renaissance. Did some crazy, surrealistic type stuff. This man, my friends, was either on drugs, eating his paint or completely terrified of sinning. Or maybe he loved sinning. I don’t know… he was pretty damn rad.

Oh man, I need to dig my art history books out again.

Your favorite musician?
Jason Mraz always makes me happy. Oh, and Ben Folds! Regina Spektor too.

The quality you most admire in a man?
The ability to be completely honest and the ability to respect women.
It doesn’t take much, really.

The quality you most admire in a woman?
Intelligence. Specifically, the desire to not dumb themselves down.

Your favorite virtue?
Right now? Silence. Usually? Honesty.

Your favorite occupation?
Like, in a romantic, ideal sort of way? An artist.

Who would you have liked to be?
Hmmm. I can’t really imagine being anyone but myself. I wish I looked a little like Natalie Portman, though.

Questionnaire #2:

Your most marked characteristic?
I think I’d have to go with loyalty. I am fiercely loyal to people who are important to me. Buuuut, if you cross me or drain me emotionally, I’ll probably try to cut you out like a tumor.

What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty and the dramaz-free zone. I can’t handle being asked to feel sorry for circumstances one can help. I can’t handle listening to who got drunk and who slept with who on a regular basis. I just don’t do it.

What is your principle defect?
I don’t feel like I can handle constant stress. Sometimes this makes me sad because it prevents me from doing things I’m good at or could be really good at. In the end, though, it’s about not crying away 80% of life. I do wish I was willing/able to take on more sometimes. (And I’m kind of working on this.)

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
Losing my mind. I like that I’m semi-intelligent and interested in most things. I think it would be really unfortunate if I lost the ability to learn. That’s why I get sad when I feel like my knowledge is slipping away… I need to use it more.

What would you like to be?
Sane. Just kidding, kind of. I’d like to be calm, less jealous and less prone to comparing myself and others to ideal situations.

In what country would you like to live?
Other than the US? (Hey, I have the hope that it’ll shape itself back up again eventually.) I think Canada seems nice. I think England or Norway seems nice too. Oh, and Italy — but only for the art and food.)

What is your favorite color?
Every color in the world except poop brown and baby puke green.

What is your favorite flower?
Gerber Daisy, hands down. It’s such a damn happy flower. Maybe I should buy myself a potted one and try to keep it alive in my apartment.

What is your favorite bird?
I like robins. Robins always mean spring is coming. I like spring. Robins give me happy feelings inside.

Who are your favorite prose writers?
I went through a Margaret Atwood phase, but then I read Dancing Girls and didn’t really dig it. Lately I’ve just been into fluffy chick lit. Sophia Kinsella, Meg Cabot, Janet Evanovich, and the newest addition being Gail Carriger.

Who are your favorite poets?
I, um, don’t really read poetry. I’m not cool enough for it. It hardly ever makes sense. I remember Emily Dickinson being pretty awesome, though, in a depressing sort of way.

What are your favorite names?
For people? I have no idea. I use to have a list of potential baby names for my future children. I’ve now decided that I don’t really want kids… or at least not anytime soon. In other words, I don’t have a favorite name anymore.

Wait, I lied. I like Sevilla and Cyrus. Good, solid, old names.

What is it you most dislike?
Screaming children or adults throwing a temper tantrum. Both of these things make me want to punt a puppy.

What historical figures do you most despise?
Hitler. And similar people. (There’s a lot of people who committed genocide, yo.)

What event in military history do you most admire?
I know zero things about military history. I suppose I like the people who fought against injustice, even if it put their lives in danger. Apply this to all things military-history-related?

What reform do you most admire?
Personally? I think the health care “reform” was a step in a good direction. I think desegregation was a very good thing. I think ending “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was a good step towards becoming a more accepting and open minded society. I’d love it if we could drop the DOMA thing. (Being homosexual doesn’t make anyone wrong, promiscuous, less loving or less stable.)

I think most “reform,” however, happens over time and eventually just becomes common sense.

What natural gift would you most like to possess?
Inner calm. (aka: The ability to shut my brain the eff’ up.)

How would you like to die?
I prefer not to die. However, since it is apparently inevitable, I hope it’s when I’m old, I hope it is peaceful and I hope I feel “ready” when it happens.

What is your present state of mind?
Unsettled. I’ve spent most of my post-college life feeling that way. Probably because I haven’t been (1) actively learning in a structured environment and (2) haven’t been doing much in the creative/creating arena since graduating.

I don’t work in a creative environment because being under pressure to create seems to paralyze my creativity. Not working in a creative environment exhausts me and leaves my idea well dry and abused. It’s a terrible paradox.

What is your motto?
Well, I say, “I’m doing ok, so far.” or “I’m doing ok, I think.” a lot. In fact, I said “I’m doing ok, I think.” to my therapist and she made note of it. Oops.

You know, though, when people are asking me this, I don’t know what the rest of the day/week/month/year holds for me.

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