I did a little yin yoga at home today with a nice little video I found on Vimeo.
An interesting thing happened. As I was reclined in a supported backbend, a little like the image above, I started to feel very vulnerable.
Like “someone was watching me shower” vulnerable.
Obviously I was in my locked apartment and I have curtains and blinds on my windows, so no one was watching me. I wasn’t naked, though I was in my skivvies and a tank top. Maybe there’s something to this whole “heart opening” thing. I had been/have been keeping my heart pretty guarded and one of the things I hope I’m working towards is opening up and accepting myself and others as we are.
That’s hard work, yo! There’s so much I’d like to change about other people. Like, keep a record of your checking account transactions or eat less than a dozen brownies or eat more vegetables or just be fucking nicer or stop being such a twit bag judger!
Ok, some of that was about myself — I need to stop eating so many sweets and I need to eat more green stuff.
I got off topic; even when I’m doing my detox flow routine, as soon as she starts talking about opening up your heart to accept love, I have to choke back a tiny sob.
It’s so emotional! Who’ve thought that? (Probably all yoga teachers everywhere would’ve thought that, actually.)
I feel like I should have started yogaing on a regular basis a long time ago. I feel like it’s parallel to my therapy sessions is interesting and potentially useful and I hope I keep the practice up.
On a related topic, I took the first step towards a possible yoga certification the other day and opened a savings account specifically for it. It will probably be a good, long while until there’s enough to pay for training sessions, but I’ll keep plugging away and seeing how my “practice” evolves.