I have another week off. This time it’s for my birthday. It is lovely aand amazing to have a week with a bunch of non-plans. Today I’m going to eat pizza with my momma and my HACC mommy and I’m going to do yoga at Sangha this evening. Not sure what I’m going to do from 2 to 6. Perhaps I should hunker down at a Starbucks and work on homeworky things since that’s not something that pauses for my birthday.
So I’m 29 now. I’ve got just under a year before I hit the 30 mark. When I was turning 25, 30 really freaked me out. I’m still nowhere near where I’d like to be professionally or even romantically, but I’m learning that no one feels like they’ve actually made it to their ideal station in life, so I’m just plugging away at little goals that will, hopefully, help me get to where I’d like to be.
Birthdays are funny. I reminisce about the past. It makes me wish I could go back in time to my 14 year old self and tell her to relax, ask more questions, and don’t worry about seeming weird. That anxiety will probably haunt her even more than she knows, but that life has a funny way of working out. That avoiding the lows of life is futile so cherishing the highs is really important. That no romantic heartbreak can actually break you if you choose to keep moving forward. That the kind of heartbreak that can actually break you is much deeper than romantic attachments and that even after you break, you can glue yourself together again. Just. Stop. Grasping.
Then I’d tell her to dye her hair some crazy color because she is going to spend some time in a rather dull, financial job where they frown upon pink hair. Then again, maybe if she dyes her hair some crazy color, she’d make different life decisions and today’s me wouldn’t be giving her the same advice because today’s me would be very different.
Who knows. I feel old, but I also still feel like that awkward 14 year old that doesn’t know what to do with all this nervous energy. I’m really just playing dress up in adult skin.
The point is, this week I’m going to make cookies, baked ziti, possibly a cake and other baked goods. I want to read and cross stitch a lot. I’ll do a bunch of yoga and I should probably run a few times… Like I should get out of bed and run now. I have so many books on my bedside table that need plowed through. Some serious, some not. I bought Yes Please by Amy Poehler while I was in NYC on Saturday. It’s printed in full color or coated paper. It weighs a ton and cost $25. It’s like a miniature art book. It better be amazing because I can’t tell you the last time I spent more than $10 on a non-textbook book.
Perhaps I should try and gather some of the books I know I’ll never re-read to sell at 2nd and Charles this week. I have too many sitting around. They should find a new home with someone who hasn’t read them yet.
That’s another thing I should do… Clean out some clutter.
I killed some time, I should probably go for that run now. It’s almost 9 am and I got fun stuff to do. Let’s do this.